Stress, in its latest form, came calling this morning. A couple of weeks ago, I was diagnosed with "benign essential tremors" by a neurologist who assured me that it was treatable and the prescription for its treatment was an older, cheaper drug that I start with one 50 mg Primidone at bedtime. Next week, we'll see at my follow-up appt. whether I need to increase the dosage. I vote for "yes."
Since this latest "gift" of lupus thrives on stress, I have to make some decisions, here, about my writing career.
have recently "fired" my publisher, Vanilla Heart Publishing, for
breach of contract on many levels, along with 12 of my fellow authors in
that publishing house. That's a stressor of major proportions, and not
quite by coincidence, that's when my stress level increased to the point
that I had to find out what was going on with my lupus. Heh. You might
say I'm brain damaged, since the cause of these tremors is that nerves
in my CNS are on overdrive; coming out of my overactive, stressed brain.
I have been trying to self-publish, and been found wanting in
the skills needed. After spending three days on Create Space, editing my
350 page manuscript, only to have it sent back to me as a "proof copy"
and correcting such errors as "be" turned into "he" and vice-versa, not
even to mention formatting issues.
Ever the over-achiever, I was
convinced that I could do this. But, upon waking this morning, hands
trembling once again while making coffee, I came to realize, "This stuff
is killing me. Why not try to find a decent publisher who will take
all, some, or one of my books?"My son confirmed my decision when he
correctly stated, "Your time is non-productive doing this." And he's
correct. Those three days could have been better spent on working on my
sequel to my last novel. Maybe even finished the last few pages of my
second draft. Instead, I wrestled with such issues as "formatting
glitches" (theirs, not mine) and even doing yet another spell check.
more. I'm contacting reputable publishers, even the "biggies" in New
York. What can they say, other than "No?" I've been told that before;
it's not a bullet through the heart.
I cannot continue abusing my
lupus brain cells. I need to let go of my idea that I can run with the
other kids, who are self- publishing.
Who have sailed through the
process with never a problem. I thought I could do it, too, but reality
has intruded. They don't have lupus and other chronic illnesses. And
let's not forget the "brain fog" that creeps in on little cat's feet. (I
think that phrase is from a poem, right? Just can't remember the name
or the author. Typical of a lupie.)
starting a new blog for writing, also. Look for "MyViewFrom Here" on
blogger.com.This will be copied to that new blog, since it pertains to
So I'm asking: Does anyone have a publisher they would recommend?